2020
“I don’t care” just means “I’ll care later”
This is one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Trevor Kashey. Honestly, how true is that? A lot of times when we are in the moment with our friends or family, we can easily fall into the “I don’t care” trap. And it is a trap. We conjure up the many excuses we can tell ourselves that “you only live once, so I don’t care” or “I deserve it, so I don’t care” or “I’ve been good all week, so I don’t care” or whatever story you can muster. Anything that will allow us to get what we want. We can be our own master manipulator.
The fact of the matter is…you will care even if you are telling yourself right then and there that you don’t. Either when you wake up in the morning with a hangover or an extra pound or 2 on the scale. Or after a week/weeks of “I don’t cares”, many pounds on the scale and a newfound disdain for yourself.
Here are 3 tips to start working on that discipline muscle to turn your “I don’t cares” into “By golly, I do care! My wellbeing and quality of life matters.”
- Remember, all feelings whether positive or negative are temporary.
- Sometimes, when my stress levels hit a certain point, I can feel the “I don’t care” feeling rise. My body gets closer to the wine bottle or chocolate bag, and I start to recognize what is happening. I’m now at a crossroads. Do I allow myself to open the bottle or bag? Or do I find something productive to do to help get passed this negative feeling that I know is temporary? On the flipside, maybe I completed something and it makes me excited and happy…that same feeling of reckless abandon can arise. I’m at the same crossroads even though my feelings are positive. I have the same choice of dealing with this feeling with unhealthy food and drink, or with something productive. What is a way you can reward yourself or reduce your stress that has nothing to do with food and drink? Make your plan for it now so when the time comes, you are ready.
- Prepare for the moment.
- I’m not sure about you, but a lot of times when my “I don’t care” button is pushed, it is because I’m starving. You can prepare for these moments in a few ways. One is to have your healthy staple foods ready to go before you hit the red zone on the starving meter. For example, if you were planning to meet some friends for dinner, eat something high in protein and veggies before you arrive. It’s easier to make good choices if you are somewhat satiated ahead of time. The other way to prepare is to account for what you want to eat ahead of time. In most cases you know where you are going to eat and most menus are available online, so put what you want to eat and drink into myfitnesspal, and then back into the rest of your day. This also alleviates any potential stress of what it’s going to do to your progress since you already know what you are going to have, and you can plan some off-track items as long as it fits within your daily goals. How do you want to prepare?
- Arm yourself with a ready and steady, “No thanks.”
- You could be surrounded by a bunch of people whose “I don’t care” button is permanently pushed to ON, and they want to justify their own actions by inviting you along with them. Sometimes you live with these people! I know living with someone that doesn’t care makes it much harder for you, but the stronger and steadier you are with your “no thanks” the more they will realize that you are serious. Honestly, over time, they sometimes join you on the “I do care” train. Until then, don’t be a doormat. They cannot want it more than you do. You also should have the conversation with them ahead of time that you want to make a change in your life. Sometimes they have no idea! The more you say “no thanks,” the easier it becomes on you and the more confident you feel after every small victory. What is one time you said “No thanks” and it made you feel empowered and proud of yourself?
The plan is always simple, but it’s never easy. It’s especially not easy after years and years of living a certain way. Years of saying yes, of letting others lead the way, of letting others make you feel guilty for not eating all the food (thanks Mom ?), of trying to fit in, of being told life is only fun if you eat cake and drink wine. Life is filled with choices and allowing yourself to be your own leader. What path do you choose?
